The Belle Perdue Historic Integrity Charter
Adopted by the Belle Perdue Town Council in a unanimous vote over lemonade at J&H Hardware.
Key Provisions:
- Five-Year Rule – Anyone wishing to purchase a property over 50 years old must have lived in Belle Perdue for at least five consecutive years.
- Aesthetic Stewardship Training – Prospective buyers of historic homes or buildings must complete a two-day workshop on “The Aesthetics of Old Buildings,” covering topics like:
- Preserving original woodwork
- Maintaining interior walls and doors (a firm “no” to gutting for open concept)
- Appreciating creaky floors, old windows, and doorknobs with stories
- New Construction Freedom – Greene’s farm has been subdivided for a new neighborhood where residents may design however they wish. Modern, traditional, or experimental...as long as it doesn’t resemble a spaceship or a warehouse.
- Historic Review Board – Consists of Miss Lettie (chair), Fran and Fanny Fern (co-vice chairs, who rarely agree), and rotating members of the community who show a love for Belle Perdue’s quirks.
- Penalty for Violations – Any unapproved “open concept” gutting will result in mandatory attendance at the next three Town Hall meetings, during which the offender must bring pies or pralines as penance.
Purpose: This charter preserves the heart of Belle Perdue by ensuring those who inhabit its oldest buildings understand, and love, the town’s character. It also welcomes new growth in designated areas, keeping Belle Perdue lively and inclusive without sacrificing its soul.
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